Back to what Works

I don't know why I have made so many excuses, but I am good at those! About two years ago, I was reading an excellent book called, "The Educated Child". This is not a book on homeschooling. It is just a brilliant book about a parent being in control of their child's education regardless of where they choose to school them.

Something that really jumped off of the page and grabbed my imagination was the idea that children don't need to be watching T.V. everyday. In fact, they recommended that you save that only for the weekends. So, we set off in our courageous endeavor to go against the flow of humanity and close the doors of our entertainment center from Monday mornings until Friday nights. This meant no play station, videos or T.V.

I spent about 4 days listening to complaining and then the value was firmly implanted in our kids. No more asking, whining and most of all, no more distraction. It was excellent! I felt empowered to truly be their only teacher or be the one to decide who is teaching them. I was able to control how our day fit on a schedule. I was able to avoid distraction. This also greatly enhanced our family time. We played games frequently together at night and read books to each other and alone. Next, we decided to say no computer as well until school was finished for everyone. This was also a huge change for the structure of our day. No longer was "D" crying at the computer because he couldn't do something while he waited on "E" to come and help him and no longer was I getting frustrated that every time I turned around, "E" was interrupting her school to help her brother. (Don't get me wrong, I love that she was learning to put others first in this, but it wasn't the way I wanted her to learn that valuable concept.)

We did this for about a year and a half. When "L" was old enough to enjoy cartoons and sit at least 30 minutes at a time without needing me or wandering off in distraction, TV became the new babysitter for me to focus on the kids school without him tugging at me every other minute. I felt myself becoming more and more disappointed at the slipping of my standards, but what else was I to do? Also, a problem was that L wasn't getting any school. He can talk your ear off, but he can't decipher his ABC's or work puzzles very well. By 2 and a half, all of my other kids were able to recognize their letters and numbers and even put together a puzzle of the 50 states. One of my daughters was spelling and reading 3 letter words by three...L is not on target for that at all! I attribute this to my lack of judgment and I regret that.

Last night it hit me again, the passion to have control of my schooling and of my children's daily schedule. "A" was complaining about never having any playtime because they did school, cleaned and spent two hours in the car most days just driving to and from my work and she felt she wasn't getting any alone time or play time. She was shocked to find that she did have time in the day for that, but every time she walked in the den, she was lured into watching whatever baby show or movie was on the TV at a time. She even requested we go back to the no T.V. rule. I tended to just leave PBS on even after the show he wanted to watch was over because the next 3 shows were good too and somewhat educational, so I just gave into what was easier for me and in turn caused my children to not have any fluidity to their day.

Turning back to our old way of life seemed a bit difficult anticipating the tears of my 2 year old when he finds out that Dinosaur Train will not be on T.V. again. However, I knew it would pass. This morning we began our old standard of living and found everyone to welcome it. L only asked once for cartoons and I told him no. He accepted it with an "Awww!" and moved on to something else. My kid's schooling has gone relatively smoothly today and I have enjoyed a less stressful day of having the full attention of my children. It is GREAT! I highly recommend this.

Shh, Don't Tell Anyone I am Like This

Christmas is the most awesome expression of God's love toward us in that while we were still at enmity with God, He sent Jesus to be the reconciliation for our sins. What greater love is there? Without Jesus' birth, his death and resurrection...we are dead men walking. Now that will preach!

I have been recently urged inside myself to rethink this whole Christmas thingy. I LOVE Christmas. At least I did when I was little. There was nothing so magical as waking up and then running downstairs to see what Santa left for us. It was like walking into a toy store and it was all for ME! I don't think my parents spent a whole lot on us, but back then $25.00 went a long way. Our stocking was stuffed with only candy, there was never an orange or an apple to be found which was much to my delight. I felt sorry for the kids that Santa thought needed to be more healthy :) I would try my best to have patience as my dad read the Christmas story out of the book of Luke before we could play with anything or even dump out our stockings. Honestly, it was misery! It took FOREVER! I tried to act like it was a good thing, but inside, I was just ready for the story to be over.

Now that doesn't sound like a good, little missionary kid, but truth be told...that is how I felt. Learning the truth about Santa brought about lots of tears for me. It was devastating actually. The fun of Christmas was still there, but somehow the magic was not so much. Especially my 8Th grade year when I got money. I asked for money, but somehow, it didn't bring about the same wonderment of what was in all of those gifts. I was growing up. YUCK!

As I came into having my own money, the excitement of Christmas began coming back as the joy of gift giving certainly took precedence over receiving gifts. Thankfully, in all of the fun of Christmas, I did in fact learn one of the important things in Christmas that is meant to translate into all of the other days of the year and that is, nothing feels as good as giving. However, 4 kids later, the strain of Christmas has reared it's ugly head. One child was pretty easy to buy for. LOTS of fun things for little 3 year olds. Then comes baby number two and that is still pretty easy since all she cares about is gnawing on the wrapping paper. After child three, the pressure is on, but with child 4 being old enough to thoroughly anticipate Christmas morning, I might buckle. How many gifts do we buy? How much do we spend? Should the presents be equal in price or in number or how about both? That is so hard to accomplish, let me tell you. And then, the question becomes what should be from Santa? How many does he bring anyway?

Then THEY ask..."How come he brings a puppy to their house, but you always told me Santa doesn't bring puppies? HUH, HUH??? I want a cell phone! I want a Nintendo DS AND a Wii. My cousins got one last year so I know He makes them."

Hmm, these questions need thought out answers in order not to spoil Christmas! WHAT?? What am I thinking? Spoil Christmas? OK, I have completely forgotten the meaning of Christmas. Hello, my name is Tammy and I am not a good Christian.

OK, so rethinking it. My gifts are bought already and might I say, the gifts we chose are going to score major brownie points. Not because of what they cost, but because they want them and they don't even know it. Actually, we haven't spent anything so far on them which is great for me, but what we are getting them, will cost us in the long run. However, I don't like the fact that I dread Christmas now. I dread getting out all of the decorations and having boxes stacked in my living room for 1 week or maybe more. I don't like that I dread my husband dreading putting up the lights. And baking...heck no, I am not a baker. I love to eat your baked goodies, but please don't make a mess in my kitchen. It has a big enough mess of it's own and I have no time to clean it up. If it wasn't for my sweet hubby liking to bake cookies with the kids, they would grow up not knowing how to do that. Sad...I know, I am not the perfect mom.

I love that advent video. I love the big picture. I love the vision. I don't love implementing. How does one do that? Well, I can take lessons from my 11 year old that came up with the idea of making cards and giving stuffed animals away to children at Children's Hospital. That is one thing. I can take all of the money I get for Christmas and give it away to people on the street downtown. (Nah, I need a clock for my dining room.) See? See the battle in my head? I am not your typical materialist seeing that I never buy myself anything, but that is not because I don't want it, it is because I don't have it to spend. I do have the sense not to use a credit card, so that is good, but inside, I want to buy the whole store of Kirklands and move it into my house including the way it smells!!!!

That would bring me joy...for a moment. Then I would feel guilty that I am so selfish and vain. Oh, the things God needs to fix in me. I am but a wretched person. I want to anticipate Christmas again. I don't want to dread the traffic, dread the messy house in decorating. I need to get over my messy house. It happens with life. It is OK...why can't I get that through my thick skull!!!??!

There is no one I love more in this world than Jesus. I can honestly say, without Him, my life would be a train wreck. I know me. I know my heart. He has truly made my life secure! I do not live in fear, in hunger, in anger, in want. I do not live in dysfunction, in depression or anxiety. I do not live in guilt or self loathing. God has loved me! He has accepted me for who I am, in all of my shameful characteristics. He loves me so much that he truly wants a relationship with me. That is so unbelievable to me, why would the Creator of the Universe want to know me??

Christmas truly is special. It, in itself, is the gift. All of the goofy cliches are true...Jesus IS the reason for the season, He IS the gift that keeps on giving.
I set out this year, when we will not be following our normal Christmas traditions, to not be sad about that, but fully embrace the day for what it is...my Savior's birthday. I will set my heart to never dread this wonderful season again. I will bake my kitchen into messiness, I will have boxes strewn without care and I will anticipate my children hearing again the greatest story ever told! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OF YOU!

Where I am From

My friend from Africa wrote one of these and it was beautiful. I wanted to try my hand at it. (Thanks Beth)

I am from Red Bud Drive and Friday night sleepovers at grandmothers, from playing tic tac toe and painting finger nails. I am from jungle camp, Mexico and High Plane Lane.

I am from 4 years of being absent and disconnected from my homeland to returning and loving the journey, only to repeat it all over again. I am from tears all of the way across the Atlantic Ocean to joys in the Indian Ocean, I am from "Good-Bye".

I am from retreats on a lake and an ocean, train rides through the plains ridden with wild creatures lurking in the darkness, waterholes that bellow in the night. I am from wondrous smells of the early morning, sipping on a cup of piping hot, sweet chai and listening to the calls of the wild. I am from buffalo chases and elephant warnings, giggling as we speed away.

I am from a faith deeply grafted into my soul. I am from a dad's early morning devotions and a mom's welcomed hug everyday, an acceptance that never fails. I am from affirmation and support, from unconditional love, from church buildings and evangelism at the park. I am from miracles and I am from faith, I am from a blessed place.

I am from Sunday night popcorn in asparagus soup, nights of Mexican pili-pili delicacies and game nights. I am from telephoning back in time to wish a Merry Christmas to family after I have already had one. I am from house girls who love and house boys that steal.

I am from matatus and "It's just over the hill,"to two hours later. I am from a people that are not concerned with time, a society that runs at it's own pace.

I am from mandazis and chapatis to casava and ugali, I am from Madaraka with maize roasting on a street side grill with chili pepper and lime, I am from angels and robbers.

I am from compounds and big iron gates, from guards that sleep to windows crashing in danger and phone wires cut. I am from a night of barking dogs that causes fear to rage. I am from fog horns that alert in the night and from a family running scared. A protected family.

I am from 2 organizations that meld into one at school, from kick the can to peppermint tea, sardines and camp outs to early morning carpool on bumpy, red dirt roads, from collecting hedge hogs and flipping off of the bars, mass choir and avocado trees. I am also from Swalla dorm and roommates that sing and dance for fun, weekends with my parents who bring Chooze and Chevda, video nights and Caring Community, cold mornings and stoking the fire, fudge in the kitchen and community showers. I am from heart break and hawks that swoop for my lunch.

I am from a family who left behind a brother for the purpose of healing, a sadness that no words can describe, a mourning that lasted for a night, a joy that came in the morning. Reunited.

I come from the land of seasons that do not match my own. Rainy and dry seasons that sometimes are always dry, from flowers that never seem to die and from desert sands where hyenas laugh in the night.

I am from glass bottled, warm cokes to smelly sausage and bread that never lasts and milk from the mountains that is sweet to my tongue, from meat hanging in the sun, coated in flies with a sign that says "No spitting allowed." I am from blue dukas full of African treasures that beckon tourist.

I am from 3 colleges in 2 states, from studying with friends and launching pumpkins out of the window. I am from being thrown in the air to landing in the hospital. I am from loving 3 children as if they were my own, to a heart breaking good-bye. Reconnected.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am from a noisy home of laughter and whining, where the inhabitants are forever entwined in a circle of love. I am from cries in the night, cuddles and kisses with prayers for good dreams. I am from clean and messy, from excitement and deep sadness. I am from teaching my kids to read and write, to do math and know their history and science. I am from 4. I am from them.

I am from the love of a man. From one that cherishes and cares for me, one that I can never live without. WE are from whimsical plans, fun loving moments,dashed dreams, from difficult decisions to heartbreaking news. Our hearts are one.

I am from Dixie Land first, the equator second, the frozen forgotten third, the Ozarks next and then a state all it's own. East and West, North and South. They are all my home. I am the 'lady bug' always dreaming of the other side of the ocean.

This is me.

New Study

Being a homeschooler, I have to field all kinds of questions from not only friends, but strangers on whether or not we have made the best choice for our family by homeschooling. I have not seen new statistics in awhile and it can get fuzzy in my memory on stats I learned 5 years ago. PLUS, sometimes when you hear negative, negative, negative all of the time from skeptics, you can actually start second guessing yourself. There is nothing more exciting for me than to be rejuvenated in my calling. It feels great to be backed by undeniable evidence. I decided to post this new evidence to put some of you skeptics at ease in the choices we have made for our kids. :)

It has been 10 years since any major research has been done on this homeschooling topic. According to the National Center for Education Statistics, the number of homeschooled children has grown tremendously from 850,000 to anywhere from 1.5 to 2 million. This test shows homeschoolers are continuing to excel above their public school counterparts.

Dr. Brian D. Ray conducted this study nationwide through the National Home Education Research Institute. It covers their educational background as well as their demographics and attempts to discover any impact these might have on the level of accomplishment homeschooling has on children.

Here is a question I always get. Does it matter that you don't have any certification as a teacher? According to this study...test results prove that homeschooled children that have one or both parents with teaching certificates averaged a core score of 87%. Children taught at home without any parent holding a teacher's certificate had an 88% on their tests as a core score. WOW! That bodes well for us :) No difference.

"Is there a correlation between student scores and parent education?" The answer is funny to me actually. Neither parent holding a degree scored an 83% on their test. One parent having a degree gave an 86% and both parents having a degree gave students the advantage by only 4%, raising the scores to a 90%. The funny part is that public school teachers that ALL have a degree, their students scored 50% across the board. WOW, that is enlightening as well. So for those of you who say, "I would homeschool IF I was qualified," there is good news for you...YOU ARE QUALIFIED (even above "qualified" teachers)!

Oh, this question is a classic. "What kind of government accountability is there for you as a homeschooler?" Well, this test question doesn't exactly answer this per say, but it does offer insight as to whether or not there should be ANY supervision by the government. Here is the study question. "Is government regulation necessary for high achievement?" The answer is that in states with low regulation like Texas and Alabama, children scored an average of 87%. In a state with medium regulation, the children score an 88%, and in a state with HIGH regulation, the children score the same as a state with low regulation at an 87%. I liked what the Homeschool Legal Defense Association says about these findings. "That's a good reason for the state governments to redirect scarce funds from regulating homeschooling to where the money is actually needed." Well said!

The academic achievement scores on the test across the board were as follows-
In total reading, homeschooled students had an 89%. Public school students had a 50%.
In total language, HSS had an 84% while PSS had a 50%. In total Math, HSS averaged at 84% and PSS averaged at 50%. In Science, HSS got an 86% and PSS got a 50%.In Social Studies, HSS averaged an 84% while PSS averaged 50% again. This gives a composite score to homeschooled students an 86% and gives public schooled students a 50%!!!! Notice how the public school system shoots to be average. I am not interested in my kids being average. They were created to attain so much more. My prayer is that I can indeed accomplish that in my children. God has called me to raise my own children. He has called me to spend more time with them each day than anyone else. He will equip me to mold them into young men and women that have strong character, brilliant intelligence and a desire to keep learning!

Did you know that America spends more on education per child than any other industrialized nation? (We won't mention that we rank 25th among those.)
In homeschooling, a parent that spent over 600$, their kids scored an average of 89% on their tests. If a parents spent under 600$, their kids scored an average of 86%. For the PSS who have $9,963.00 spent on them each year, scored 50%. Our tax dollars are not accomplishing a whole lot. I spend about 4-500 dollars on my kids total in curriculum each year. I spent 100 dollars on field trips this year and I know that it can be done A LOT cheaper. I just haven't figured that all out yet. However, I spent 400 dollars on just "E" the first year and have since added 2 more children to the mix and have only increased my spending by 100 dollars. So, things are starting to make sense to me :)

A few more tests were done like the income the family makes which was more of the same. The families that make under 35,000 scored 85%, the families that make 35-70 thousand, made an 86% and families that made over 70 grand scored 89%.
Also, if you were a boy, you scored 87% and if you were a girl you scored 88% on average. This proves my age old idea that girls are smarter than boys :) I am just kidding!!! I don't really believe that. My husband is WAY smarter than me! Anyway, there have been studies that showed in the Public school arena, boys score less than girls. I have heard that this is because of the way boys learn, not because they are dumb. However, you will see that in homeschooled students, they were pretty much the same through every grade level. If your son is struggling in school, it is most likely not because he isn't smart. It is probably because his brain is wired differently than how students are taught in a class setting. At home, the parent can teach to their learning styles and overcome this obstacle in learning.

In conclusion, these statistics are so encouraging to homeschooling parents. Be encouraged if you feel the opposition closing in on you. YOU are doing a marvelous thing. You are making your child's education a priority and you will take them to a level they could not achieve otherwise. JUST KEEP SWIMMING as that fish Dori always says in Finding Nemo.

Whoo Hoo! The Valley of the Shadow of Death

I wanted to document this as it was reminded to me the other day. When my oldest daughter "E" was in first grade, she learned Psalm 23. She memorized it all perfectly and we moved on. When my second daughter "A" was in first grade, she started learning it. "E" was so excited and said she remembered it and would like to say it for "A". So, I let her recall Psalm 23. She started off great and when she got to the part, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...", she said, " Whoo hoo, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...". LOL! It was SO cute. I just don't want to forget it. Therefore, it made it into my blog.
That passage is funny because if you don't understand the King James language, you can get really confused understanding it. My son "D" is learning it right now. He thought when you say, "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want," that it meant we don't want the shepherd. :) Turns out, my husband thought the same thing when he was little. I sure am glad little mistakes in quoting it came out so I could explain to "E" that we are not excited that we are going through the valley of the shadow of death.:)

TAKE ACTION

I am so glad to finally have something stirring in me to talk about. If you know me, you know that I am passionate about having our constitutional rights protected. I am a member of the HSLDA which is a terrific organization that defends the right of homeschooling families not only in America, but in other countries as well. I get their updates and when they call for action, I send the emails, make the calls or do whatever to get the word out. I decided today to make my blog one way to get the word out. Please know, you do NOT have to be a homeschooler to be proactive in protecting parental rights. You don't even have to be a parent. You simply have to love being an American.

Today's topic does not even involve an American family. That doesn't change the importance of you getting involved. We are in the world together, right? Now with international borders broken down through the Internet, we can get involved with our other "brothers and sisters" worldwide to help them in their struggles. We can make a difference literally in the world.

The Johansson family is a family with a dad from Sweden and a mom from India who have lived in Sweden. In their attempt to move to India, they pulled their child from school and began homeschooling their 7 year old son named Dominic. They followed the Swedish laws in notifying the local school of their intent to homeschool and the district refused to assist them in that. Instead, they turned them in to the authorities and fined them. The court saw no reason to require the fines so they were dropped. The court also knew of the family's intent to leave the country and reside in India. As the family boarded the plane, they were arrested and the child was taken away. The parents were told they could only see Dominic once every 2 weeks for 2 hours at a time with supervision. Since June 25th, Dominic has only seen his parents 8 times for a total of 16 hours. His mom has been under severe stress and depression and has been hospitalized. This is very traumatic for all of them. The authorities keep asserting that this is best for the child and it is for his protection and it follows the laws that the UN has for the "rights of a child". One of these rights is a "right to education." Let me remind you, homeschooling is a method of education that consistently proves to gain higher test scores than children in public schools. This is not only the case in America, but in many other countries as well.

From what I can gather, the Johannson family followed the laws set for them, so this is a grievous mishap by the authorities that be. They should be taken to the mat on this and I would only hope that people would stand for me if my children were taken away from me illegally. Imagine the pain that this child is suffering. They are doing great emotional harm to him.

The HSLDA has gotten involved and with pressure from other people all over the world, we can make a difference. Governments don't like it when the world sees they are being unlawful and will many times make it right to avoid pressure from other governments. I have emailed the ambassador of Sweden. After I did that, my daughter ask to email them as well. She did and I will post both emails so you can see an example of what you can also do. Please call them. Please email them. Help this family in need. I will include a link to the HSLDA letter so you can see the legal ramifications that go along with this and see that this is not a hoax, but a real story with real peoples lives at stake.

It is also so important to see through this how the United Nations Rights of a Child treaty can be so abused. This is our fear as parents in America. If America ratifies this treaty, we are in for the very same grievous acts on our families. Our fundamental right to parent in the best interest of our child will be challenged and taken away. This is the other reason to call your senators and representatives and let your voice be heard. We need a parental rights amendment to protect our rights as a parent. You can learn all about this, what you can do and how to contact your state representative through www.parentalrights.org.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Please help Dominic by putting pressure on the proper authorities.

Here is the link to the letter HSLDA wrote to the Swedish embassy.
http://www.hslda.org/hs/international/Sweden/HSLDA_Sweden_Letter_9-16-09.pdf

Here is the email address to the Ambassador of Sweden in Washington-
ambassaden.washington@foreign.ministry.se

Here are their phone numbers-
By phone: 202-467 2600
By fax: 202-467 2699

Here is my letter to the Ambassador of Sweden in Washington.
Dear Mr. Ambassador,

Please consider helping the Johansson family in Sweden. I am sure you are aware of their plight. As a homeschooling family, I am well aware of the tragic misconception people have of homeschoolers. Thankfully, I live in a country that has seen it's benefit and for the most part is very friendly to it as well as recognizes that the rights of the parents supersede any right of government. If you are not a proponent of homeschooling, I recommend you research statistics that show that homeschooling is hugely beneficial to the family unit, the child's education and the child's general well being.
Please use any influence you have to help this family continue with their plans to leave the country. People should have a right to live where they want. This stunt by the Swedish government is unacceptable. They have overstepped their boundaries and I hope you will hold them accountable with every bit of influence that you have. From what I understand, the countries procedure in taking Dominic away has not been lawful. I urge you to fully investigate the laws surrounding parental rights and ask that you ensure this child's return promptly to his parents to minimize the psychological damage this has had on both of the parents and their son.

Thank you for considering this issue,
Tammy

Here is my daughter's letter to the same Ambassador--

Dear Mr. Ambassador,
My name is "E" and I am 11 years-old. I am in 6th grade and I am homeschooled. The only time I have been to public school was when I was in Pre-K and Kindergarten. Since 1st grade, I have excelled in Math, Grammar, Latin, and lots of other subjects. I believe that everybody should be able to have the right to homeschool or go to regular schools. People should also be able to move and live where they please. My family has moved to several different states and I have been happy with every where we have moved. Dominic should have the right to be with his family as well. Nobody can take better care of him then his parents. He also might have gained some more education from moving to India. I would have loved to move to India and I do not see what the government has against it. He would probably be a little nervous about moving, but now he is living with a whole new set of people. They are strangers to him. The government needs to see what it would be like to be taken away from his parents. If there is anyway you can help this family, then please help. The government has done something unacceptable. I am not sure if you have kids, but if you do, imagine what it would be like to have your kids taken away. Thank you for your help and for reading this letter.
Signed,
E

(I have removed her name for her own privacy)

Even your children can get involved. Teach them to be activist for people. Teach them to love even people they can't see or may never know.

Call Me Old Fashioned

My daughter was at church on Wednesday and they were in a small group discussing the seven deadly sins. They are studying envy and they were supposed to divulge something that they envy. That is never easy to do. Transparency is difficult for an adult, but really hard as an 11 year old. Anyway, she said that she sometimes envies other kids who have cell phone service because her parents won't let her have it unless she pays for it herself. (GASP!) I know, I know. Harsh isn't it? These girls were aghast! Oh, you poor thing...I am so sorry...Can you pay for it with your allowance that you get each week? These were some of the comments that these little fifth and sixth graders shot at her. Her response? "I don't get an allowance every week unless my room stays clean the whole week!" (GASP) Oh, wow!...Are you kidding??...I can't believe that! were some more of the responses that she received.

Seriously, I should be the one gasping. Oh my goodness, are you kidding me? Your parents pay your phone service and your only ten years old? Oh, wow! How could that be?? You are TEN!!!!!Oh, and you GET an allowance even though your room is a train wreck? PUUULLLEEASE~ Somebody pick me off of this floor.

Wow, we have a new generation no doubt. I wish, only wish, my sweet little girl could understand why she can't have everything she wants and why she must be responsible in order to be paid. We don't give out money just for breathing in this house. You actually have to lift a finger. Secondly, please someone tell me why a child needs a cell phone? I can see them borrowing one when they are at ballet and it's time to be picked up. I would let my daughter borrow mine in that event. However, if I know 10 and 11 year olds...and I do...that cell phone will be lost somewhere, left at the skating rink, dropped in the toilet or left at a friends house. It will lose it's appeal like everything does and then she will no longer painstakingly take care of it...unless of course, she pays for it herself! My point exactly.